so time for another post

so it's sunday night. and i'm here at the house not tired yet but kinda waiting. i'm not sure for waht but it's what i feel i'm supposed to be doing right now. waiting. it's hard. and on the other hand i should have gone into action years ago. waiting. how much time is spent waiting? we speed through life just to wait until it's time to do whatever. as in hurry up to wait in line to hurry up to wait in another line. wait. and then the time comes and i think either why was i so worried or what was the wait all about?!

went to P&J movie this evening. was very good. enjoyed it very much. did not talk much after it was over. did not want to come out even though i am out every day with my flare. just no one notices or chooses not to see. we had a good crowd. the discussion after was kinda pulled but it was becasue of many differing factors. we had not been in this group of people before and discussed anything. with everyone in the room. it was mostly a trust factor. but the movie was very good. it could have been better, it was a documentary. the flow was off. and the wording for who people were was hard to read, some said. i did not have a problem but it might have been from where i was sitting.

have nothing new on the home front, work front, or life front. other than waiting. night.

grr arg

so i am now a new member of the adult CE board. it is going to be interesting. so it's now going to be more people and still no one doing anything. with our little four/five of us we all did our part. am not happy about this. but it's not what i want it's what the head of CE wants. she wants all three boards to have a leader and she just mingle the three which is a big thing in and of it self but when the sunday night group works and she put us on the adult board without our sure we'll join is not a function thing. it was a join us for this meeting and we'll support y'all in with what you need. very vague. so i went to said meeting with an open mind. sorta. i knew who was on the board and knew that a few of the members did not play well with me in general. so when you get more people like me in the room with them they become hostile. which is great. not so much. in this paragraph when i say people like me i mean young, excited to do stuff and get things done, (and not have conversations to have conversations) with new ideas.

so i've also got a meeting with john morrow. i will be happy for the summer. i am not a winter person. i am sorry that this blog entry is so negative. i do not mean to be. i don't like the cold. don't like the ice. don't like the snow. am glad that the roads are clear. am glad that i did not wreck this past two weeks. am glad that mom has retired. it's nice to have her home.

kat's sister went crazy. kicked her husband out and is now living with the man that they housed for a while and might be preger's with his kid. i wish her peace. i know that she is fighting many demons, many things that are not hers and she wants them. i don't know why. i do wish her peace. i wish her joy. but mostly right now she needs peace from within. she needs to be ok with who she is. i also wish her love.

i got a complement on my bra. a customer wanted to know what kinda bra i wore because it had nice up lift on it. ^^ so i told her. and i love the bra i have on right now. it's got a little padding. and i love the feel of it. i love how it makes things feel when i dump into other things. i know that sounds bad but it's not meant to. it's cushioning. and now i must end this tirade of negative energy to sleep and such. night and love.

in trouble

ok so i'm not really in trouble but it sounded good. ^^ my meetting with linda went well. we moved locations becasue of some people that were at our meetting place that were giving vibes of unwelcomeness. so we left and were much better off. have a meetting with the CE board tonight to discuss the sunday night. board of music met and we have started looking for an organist and choir director. we've got about a month to find a fill in for the organist while we decide what is going to work and happen. with ten people on the board it's going to be fun. nothing has changed at work. i'm still looking for a job. kinda thought about going back to wof. but am also kinda looking to move.
finished Wicked. it was great. i loved it. what a wonderful book. and am reading Son of a Witch. it's not a great as Wicked, but i'm more inclined to female leads than male. and this male lead is not very strong as of yet but i am thinking that he will become strong and make his mom proud.
am going to get my hair cut morrow to help it grow. i should end this and get dressed for work and get breakfast. good day and loves.

change

wow so there's lots of change going on at my church. and lots that i can't say. i have a meeting with linda on tuesday. am very happy about that. i enjoyu her company. and listening to her talk and carry on about what ever is important to her. this meeting is for me. for me to talk and give her insight into my head. so that's going to be wild. and also it's going to be hard on my behalf becasue of what i am going to tell her. and so i've got that on tuesday and board of worship on wensday and next monday i have knitting and adult christian education meeting to discuss the sunday nights.
i enjoyed mom's retirement party friday. and enjoyed the friday night that i spent at work. i kinda want it back. except for burns. did not enjoy him. him just rubs me the wrong way. always has.
so that's about all i have. night and love for now.

this is just a blog, if this had been an actual writing...

lol but really. i thought it was funny. ^^ so been a bit since i last updated my readers imform me. (squeal) i have readers in real life who know me. (squeal) so much fun so excited. big smile. and random online readers. ^^ ok so christmas was good. went over to grandma and grandpa's apt and spent the day over there. after coming home i spent the night with karen and charlotte at where else but ihop. i didn't after christmas immedatly for a couple of reasons. one i was mad. two i could not blog mad or at least not with what i was mad about. and then i was not really mad about it i just did not want to admit that i was that egotistacl. which i should know by now that i am always going to be that way and should try and stop. but it's hard when i am not and then others bulid me up and then smash me back down. i just need an even kneel where my ego is concerned. but it's not going to happen right now. so new's years eve i worked and went to a hotel with some friends. had a good time and worked new's years day. i picked up karen's boy friend alan. we went to the hotel and watched lord of the rings until karen and mara showed up about ten thirty eleven. we contunied watching lord of the rings until the second one finished. did not play the third becasue karen did not want to watch. so she broke out d n angel. and i tried sleeping. it kinda worked. or at least i was ok to work on monday.

side thought. linda. she and jennifer are the only older adults who treat me as equals. it's strange to be an equal to them but it's also right. i feel it's right. and crave to be with them to be treated as equal. and not patronaized. all my life i've been patronaized. and i've patronaized others but not ment to. i would not want to do the patronaizing. and have been called out on the patronaizing and made to feel the hurt that i've caused. i try and treat everyone as equal, if they are able to think and speak for themsevles then i've tried to treat everyone as equal. meaning that if it's a baby that can't tell me what it wants then i try and love and care for the child as i can. i don't know what brought this thought on but i am so close to linda and jennifer. i know that linda knows that she is close to me and i htink that jennifer knows but doesn't know what to do with it. or can do. so much has changed between jennifer and i. i am amazed how far we both have come. i did not think that i could or would be able to talk freely with jennifer. and now she is one of the closest people to me. what a change. with linda i knew it could and would happen it we both let it. and we have. and it's wonderful. i love it. we keep each other sane as she said this evening. even sitting here i'm smiling about thinking about her. we have so much fun together.

died my hair on satruday night. mom and i had the adventure again. we did i once before. in the summer and outside. this time we did it inside casue it was cold here. and did not want to be cold nor have a really wet head while outside. it's not as red as i was hoping for but it is now all the same color.

brother returned from alabama. he returned with two pairs of crocs. i was only expecting one. a green pair. but guess what...he also returned with a pair of bama crocs for me. (wheeeeee) so much fun for me. ^^ so makes me happpy. ^_^

i should finish this for the night and type more morrow. or i know more is to come by thursday. night and loves.