waiting

i am so ready to go to alabama. am ready to be there and in the warmth. still have not found a good med for horrible bleeding of doom. the docs don't know what i have but think it's one or the other. so i won't be on any while in alabama. unless they come up with one that doesn't make me horribly sick to my tummy. been sick and tired and not doing much. am going to quit sunfresh after the new year. don't have all of my shopping done for christmas. have some done. and asked if mom would do some morrow for me and she said that i could do it when we got there on sunday and monday. which will suck. but at least i have the shopping for my cousins done. so it will be easy kinda shopping for the folks and warren. just have to figure out what i am going to get uncle buster. am so happy that we are going. i love going to aunt cindy's for christmas. it's a blast. go to church on sunday, have party on monday, and tuesday we will gather and unwrap presents. huge party on monday. a vast majority of the s-rounding neighboring people will gather at her house and eat and laugh and share in the love of the season. it's a great sight to see people gather and love one another without fights. and it is time to go to bed. night and loves to all.

still lacking on posts

so it's been a loooooong time since i last posted. many things have happened inbetween here and there. like halloween and thanksgiving. and many birthdays. so we start from where i left off. don't feel like running away anymore. i just need to get off my lazy butt and do what i needs to be done. and what needs to be done is that i need to get back into school and back on the track that i set two years ago. have figured out that kat and i will not be getting together. i know it in my brain just have to get it to my heart. i need to let go of my jealousy of others. and take control of my life and not mope around. been doing stuff with the youth group at church. love the kids. been working my ass off. and thinking about taking another job. but really thinking about quiting. and been broke. car got new tires and new radiator. after blowing up on me in the middle of the night while coming home. so much indebt to my parents. went to branson with laura, sharon, and chole. had a great time. saw titantic, silver dollar city. am happy that we are going to alabama for christmas. so lots of the same stuff and lots of nothing new. just a different month and getting colder.