ok i've been very very very busy.

i've been busy. don't even really have time for my self any more. i am sorry that i have not updated most of this month. i told john on tuseday that i am gay and that i would like to tell the congeration it also, but there is a little problem with that; i have to tell my parents first. i don't know how or when i'm going to tell mom and i have no idea how i'm going to tell dad or if mom would make me tell dad. i don't know how she is going to react and i am confused about how she feels about gays. she stood up in a meeting at church saying things that made me feel ok about her and feeling that she was saying them from the heart and not for the sake of it is "right" to say this. john also felt the same way about mom when she said it. john also is going to get intouch with one of his friends that is clegry and openly gay and see if she will talk to be about it. i really don't know what to do. i think mom already knows. i've left notes, not meaning to and when things are left out in my house they get opened. and in those notes i've said that i was gay and that i loved the people on the other end of the note no matter what. and what's even better is telling my brother. all my friends know and most of my co-workers also know now. so i guess the time is now to tell my parents that i'm gay cause it's the next step.
you should laugh everyday. and laugh hard. it's good. it will make you happy.
so in LTQ the group is going well. kinda one of the people is unhappy with it and is going to see another group this week. she thinks that the group is not centered. which it is not and also my group runs over and she wishes to leave on time.
john wondered at different points in time if i were gay, but then put it aside to think about later or not at all. because it does not affect him in anyway. it only affects me. lol ^^ so much more to put done but don't know where else to begin. loves until later.

things get hairy

so on friday the 23rd john calls me up and says "i forget to put on the bulltion. " so i said that means we aren't doing it or we just ned to reprint the bulltion? so he said he'd call back. he called back and said that we needed a person from the association to be present and that none of the could be there because they were going to be at an instillation. so we reschduled it for the 16th of oct. and then john wimsicly goes and how would you like to preach that day too? i was shocked and excitied. he told me to think about it and i did tell him that i would preach. so the wensday night self defence class was kinda weird and awkard. but we got through it and were fine. there's an iPod that i want. it's the harry potter etched one. it has the school crest etched on the metal part of the thing. but anyway school is still going and LTQ is going much better than the first night. people are still needing to know where to go with the material but that is just me pushing them to discuss it and think about it. there's alot of info to take in. karen was home this weekend. we went to ren fair on sat and i was invited to have breakfast with them on sunday. i could not join them on sunday because i had to work. on friday night we went to ben's new apt. in lee's summit. it is bigger than their old one and the sapce is divided better also. all of us watched 28 days later. i don't know if it was supposed to be a horror flic or what but it just did nothing for me. didn't even scare me. which is saying alot cause i'm scared of the dark. i can't remember anything else at the moment.