ok so the annual chruch meeting was kinda long and very suprising. a member of the congeration that i respected stood up and was very angry about the church going o and a. i don't know why. it was like i did not even know her anymore. the other person suprised me by also saying that we should not go o and a. it was very suprising to many people. that this person was against it. the rest of the people were for it. but i should say that we are going into the process of becoming o and a, and not taking the vote of being o and a. lol there was much confusion on that. we are just educating ourselves. i heard that the results were about 75% for going into the process of becoming o and a. which i think is great. i know that i voted for us to do it because, it's just to educate us, to make more sense of it. and i will be for the congeration becoming o and a becasue of who i am.
i have a meeting with john morrow morning about my meeting with the member of the congeration that he "hooked me up" with. lol this should be interesting. cause i have to tell him that he should be careful with who he sends to her, becasue she is still kinda very prickly about being gay. and it forces the other person to be spiny, and not very open. which is what needs to happen. the other person is looking for openness or at least i was and did not find it. if i did not come to understadn that she is not all at open i would not have gotten much from the meeting.
saw mama on saturday night. ^^ it made me happy. she was working for gibb. he had something else and could not find anyone else to work for him. so she was there and mom and i went up to get gas and change in some coins for dollar bills. so i talked to her while mom went shopping.
working on karen's scarf. am up to the second layer of dark pink.
am enjoying john's bible study. have read the first chapter. and am now reading genesis am up to chapter 21. will be finishing it and then reading the chapter for exdous and then exdous. lol it will take a bit but i will be better for learning the bible from a point of view that i can agree with. and i'll be getting to know the old testament.
little c called today and her friend had the kid. and it's name is morgan fay. lol ^^ which little c thinks is great. warren's car is now fixd. he did tear his ACL and is going to see the other doctor some time this week i think. but not much else is going on.

one week and meeting later

so now it's monday and last night i had a meeting with the other member of the congeration that i was told about. it was kinda weird at first. i should meation that is was cold in the room. so i was sherving. so was not thinking all that through. the meeting started out with her asking a couple of questions and me telling her the answers and then instead of her having to pull me teeth anymore than she already did, i told her why we were there. i am currently asking john what he told her to find out if she jsut staging not knowing or if she wanted to her it from me. if it is the latter then it felt very cruel to me. it felt that she did not trust me. i've never given her any reason not to trust what i say. and now i'm beginning to sound like a winny and ungrateful person. damn. it definitely helped talking to her. it helped very much so. i figured out i don;t know and truly don't know not jsut my thinking it but in all i don't know. i don't know how my parents will act/react. laura, marty and sharon think mom already knows. i think she does also but am not sure. but like kat says it will be a cold day in hell when mom asks "kay are you gay?" i know that mom will never ask me. it's a subject that no one talks about in my family. it's taboo. the meeting definitely opened my eyes to what i was closing my eyes to. things that i did not want to think or say. that's all i'm going to say right now.

yea ^^

so sunday went very well. karen and little chrystal were there for both services and diana showed up for the second service. on the third service mom was home and could have come but did not nad i don;t know why but i think it might not have gone badly. karen and little c made signs that said slow down and clam down and one for the last that said go! go! go! which made me laugh after sitting down and talked to the person sitting next to me. she thought that they were funny. worked on monday with laura and chris got done really quickly. which was good cause then i went home on time. am working on kat's grandma's hat almost done i think. and i'll see kat morrow before work and after stuffing the crier. don't know what else to say.

sunday the big day

so sunday is in one day. i am really scared and excited. ^^ i've almost got the sermon done. i just need to time it and add a little if it's not long enough. not sure what i'll add if i need to add something to make it ten minutes. i got a thing that hangs off your cell phone that's hello kitty and purple and in a kimono. i like it very much and some people at my work want one. ha but i told them where they sould get one. ^^ so now there's a scene in ihop. which is very funny. cause it's over stupid stuff. the girls at the table are trying to suth the egos of the little boys who are trying to start something and "prove" that they are right in what ever way. plus they can't be that bright because every other word is foul language. mom is in dallas texas and won't be ther on sunday. i'm half way thinking about telling the congeration that i'm gay with her not being there. lol ^^ can't think of much more to say and the fact that the people at the table are anoying.