ggggrrrrrrr me not happy

grrr officer johnson did not show tonight for her friday night date. me not happy. >< i wanted to talk to her and do so every week and come to expect that she is going to be there when i want her there. she will be at work on saturady. i will come in and bug her. steve might go to tan-tara tomorrow for all state band concert. if his dad says that it is ok. i have started to calm down. i am not as irrate as i was. so i'll see you all in about a week.

been a week and a day

so it's been a week and a day since i last posted. not much has happened. still working and going to school. finally got all my books for class. went to kat's last night. has a good time, we did nothing. it was a blast. i want to be wiht allyson. i don't know how she feels but it hurts everytime i am there and we don't get back together. everytime i go over there i hope that she will come over to the couch and sit next to me. and then i don't know maybe we will get back together then. i know i am just repeating my self but i just havn't gotten over her. i wish i i could know what is going on in allyson's mind. so i could fix what is going on. yes i know that we only went out for a month but i went into the relationship with a clean slate and with out any baggage. i figured that if i could do htat then we could deal with the baggage later and do it together. i don't know what else to say.

one week later

one week later nothing much has changed. missing everyone so much. cause i don't really have a life right now cause of school and work. living at home is drivning me crazy. going to kill someone soon. warren is taking calsses at longview. wonder if he will come across teachers i've taken. i hope that he takes grahn. i loved her she was the greatest. i still love bundy also. found the extra breast cancer braclet that i was saving to give to someone else but i gave mine to a friend so i'm now wearing the extra. i enjoy my teachers that i have now. the school books came in and i have to go and get them morrow. i have finished most of the afgah that i a making i have all but two of the rows together. then i just put them all together and i give it to the lady that i'm making it for and mom will be off my back about it. and i can do whatever i please to make or not make. would like to see the phantom of the opera, it's the first live musical i saw. would like to see many others. and need to read many books. i'm going to get "East of Eden" when i go to eden. i shall miss everyone hear when i do go but it will be ok cause it's what i was meant to do. i ingored god's call for most of my life. but right now i just want to go home. home to where i came from and be at peace with everything. and i say everyone but there is no sense of one being to the next. all are the same and spread over everything. and are one. enough of that for one day and blogging. by the way eden is a small school in st. louis(wester groves).

so i've had a couple classes. i like them. one teacher is from germany and has a thick accent but i enjoy it. i am taking cultral anthrologoy, sociology a special interest in holocaust, and american socitey on the silver screen. i have two books left to get for school. but the bookstore was out fo the books and i hope that they get them in so that i can do my homework. nothing else is goin on cause i don't have a life right now cause of work and school. loves.

sorry i forget

ok so i forget to write. i was dong better, and then my monday night date stopped. but i think i'll be ok i just have to remember to do it. but any way nothign much has been going on. in the ice storm our power did not go off. yea! made many scarves for gifts. almost done with them all. have two in progress and they won't take long and then i'll start back on the afgan and be done with it, all i have to do on it is put the squares together. i miss my bonnie. i wish that i knew what she was doing. i miss her very much. i feel so allienatited right now. i just need to be taken out to pasture and shot. it would be much easier that way. then i'm not burdening anyone. i hope that allyson has found a job. need to call them. need to get working on those scarves.