wait or don't wait

that is the question. do i wait until after christmas to look for a new job? or do i go out and get a new job and say "i'm going to be going to alabama for christmas." i don't know how much longer i can stay. i almost cried today. i went home so angry from work that i should have been in tears. plus new girl was in the produce. even writing about it right now i am almost crying. is it worth this much to go back to alabama? do i want to badly to put myself through this much stress and pain and horridness that i am going to be venting everytime i write? i don't know yet. i would like to say no so that i could move on but i love alabama so much that i can't help but wnat to go back. i so badly want to be in alabama. i am not home here. i am just visiting. i just visit where ever i go. i am so scared that if i go to alabama that i'll be rejected by the state that i love so much. i don't know where this love came from only that i do. i can't explain it. or if i did it would make it so much smaller than it is. even in my house that i grew up in i'm just visiting. but i also some how feel that i am just visiting this plane of being. so if anyone reads this please leave a comment on what i should do. or at least your thoughts. thank you

good news

good news came today in an e-mail. the pres of the BoW daughter does not has breast cancer!! ^^ am very happy to hear this. ^^ very very happy ^^ . spent the day with kat and jen. went to the mall and returned a shrit that kat had and then went to the pet store and looked at the animals. they were too new to take out of the cages and play with. i saw a black pug puppy. i loved him. he was too cute. i ran my fingers on the glass and he played with them. he was too cute. i would love to have him. instead i bought a cordoury skirt. black and has zippers. dropped of jen and went back to kat's. spent some more time talking with her. kat helped fill out my papers. that definitly helped. so i am going to be waiting until after chirstmas. we might be going to alabama for christmas. i would just about do anything to go back to alabama. sad but true. still need to look up schools in alabama. don't know what else to say for this evening. night.

the last straw

so i am now officaly, truly, starting tomorrow going to businesses and seeing if they are hiring. i went into work on monday and saw that one of the stockers was going to be filling in/whenever needed checking. i told ross that i will not work with him. him then told me that i could not pick and choose who i work with. which i understand. i also don't make many requests about working with certain people if i did i would have long time ago told him htat i will not work with the three amigos. don't mind two out of the three it's the third one that i don't count as hunman. i know that i should but if i ignore him and he still tries to talk or ingage me some how. i deny or just act like no one is talking. but this, this is it. i have had enough of the creepy people. i have had enough of the chilld molsters. i have had enough of the penis domonaited work place.

on a better notei talked to the pres of the BoW at church and had a good talk with her. unfornatly she has not heard if her daughter has breast cancer. they did the biospy last week i think. her daughter called and she was told that the nurse was on vacation. if they don't hear soon we will go and knock on some doors. and be not nice to them to get answers. the pres said that she would be there for me to make calls and go to the offices so that i can get checked out. it's sad. a twenty five year old needing someone to hold her hand to go to the doctor. T_T i hate the doctor.

sunday night went very well. molly had everything under control. the barn yard players were there and running late. so molly kicked them out. i should come with a warning: if you are seeing this innocent female, greater females are coming after and they are man-eaters do as this one says and all will be well. it is good that they are man-eaters, for when they are done i go in and finish what i was doing.

i should fill out papers now. night and love.

tag i read a blog

draw-a bucket of water
rutabaga-ah no
nap-that would be nice thank you
twinkle- twinke i would love one. wait...twinkle...star
opulence-rock and a hard place

now you have been tagged if you are reading this...

rainbow
beet
fern
anime
closet

i must be crazy

so i must be crazy in that i called in sick on saturday and played all day at ren fair. it was great. i loved it. it was the first weekend of fair. bodice is still not done. kat now has three jobs. day, night, and weekend. don't know when she will sleep. hanging out with karen tonight. got mom a red hatters pin. she liked it. was not as happy as i thought that she would be but still glad that it was not a eh responce. LTQ starts on sunday. am happy about that. i'll get the chance to talk with molly. and see why she does not want to become ona. still need to talk to honey. but i don't know how to start that conversation with her becasue i don't know if i'm supposed to know. so it would be kind of awakrd to start a conversation if i'm not supposed to know. i'm ready for LTQ to start. i'm ready to start spending most of the day at church again. ready to be off work on sundays again. will miss the chiefs but i'm ok with that.

went through some of my clothes. got rid of some panties. got rid of a couple of shirts that i don't wear. need to go through my closet and gather which shirts i want to make into a qulit and which ones i won't wear again and also get rid of them. also need to get jackie fixed. found karen's mechiaic's number and am going to call him in the morning. found the cord to my camara.

thankful time: alisha, karen, kat, melissa, cort monster, robyn, tema, renee, music, hearing, sight, love, ablity to love, ablity to be loved back, good friends, good co-workers, mom and dad, my faith.

don't know how o put this on the side of my blog. but here it is any way.

Marriage is love.