things i learned this week

so i've learned that i should not stay up until 2am reading no matter how good the story. becuase i'll just go and do it again the next night until i am acting drunk at work. at which point the boss does not like. so then i go to bed and feel better next day. and much more cherrie. which everyone does not like that early in the morn but meh what they going to do about it. it's better than the "drunk" me cause me drunk i love on everyone.

what i learned that kept me reading until 2 was that ppl are writing my favorite pairing with harry potter. granted not prolfic but it there and it makes me happy. so i read. and read...and can't stop. it's bad but i love it. i need to learn how to stop.

that writing fanfic is hard cause all the ideas won't stop and i can't write it fast enough and then they all go. but then more come and i can't remember them all. i've started wrting ideas down...but how to strt them i don't know i just get scene in my brain and i have to write the story around it. and i wonder how they got there and how they break from there.

now on to mundane things. work is good. going back to school. taking photography. starts on a tuesday....but won't have classs until wensday. it should be fun. and hope that it gets me back into the mode of going to school so that it will be easier when i take a class that requires me to seek out help.

mother nature has come to visit this week but i'm ok with her at least it's not next week when she decided to come. camping and being as iterable as i am right now i think that maybe talking to me in the wrong tone of voice will sent me off. so tired....but must write and read fanfic.

next update

so it's another day. and i'm trying to win tori amos tickets on the local radio station. so far it's not gone well. been listening for the last two hours and not one chance. had one chance at lunch today and didn't get them. listened until i had to go in from lunch which is probably did the next set.

want to see hp again.

kinda tired this evening. had a full day of work. my department is now saddled with calling all the ppl who now have defunct e-mails. it should have been the agents who wanted new leads but no they apperently are not taking them so we get to do them now. but whatever. i will just try and plow through as many as i can as fast as i can so that it gets done. and won't have to do it any more. course i know the other guy will not be doing that. he will be doing what he has to do. only that. the x number we are supposed to do. so that it takes longer/make me do more. so that he does less. enough of work and bashing a co-worker. did that enough at my last job. course it was most ppl at my old work.

one of the agents suggeted a new author to me. or at least new to me old to her. herman wouk. i picked up one of his books the other night and was capatvited. and wow he is a great writer. will be reading all of his books. but at least now i have something to look forward to when i go to a book store. i can see which books he has written and how many. then i shall devour them. and they shall be good.

my new job

so after i gave my two weeks i didn't have a job for one. i now work at a travel agency and enjoy it much. i answer phones and e-mails. it is not the best job, but i enjoy it and it pays. i have set hours which makes me happyish. i want the best of all worlds. i want not to have to work weekends, but i also want to do the stuff at church. i miss doing the crier and helping out around the church. although i have yielded to not being able to do those things.

things are good. i am able to see the future for me agian. i can see myself in many years to come. i actually like myself now and am feeling good in my own skin. i know i have said that before but it was so that i could try and convince myself that it was true.

saw the lastest harry potter movie. and it was decent.

i am ready to start moving on with my life. i am ready to become a "grownup." or at least become responsible for my actions and be who i am to be come. to love others as they have loved me over the years. to try and thank them for the grace and kind words that got me to this point. for the ever lasting friendship i have in some of them. i know must leave my home church. i can no longer stay. i can gain nothing more from them. they have given me so much. i know that i am to give back. but it will not be to them it will be to others who like me neeeded their love and support. with their love i wll love others.