ok so happy thanksgiving everyone. last night i made lots of toast. i toasted four loaves of bread. lots of fun let me tell you about it. it gets even better when the toaster over heats. but at least i did not have to make the turkey or the dressing. i just help make them did little things. but the dinner was great. it was good seeing jake, molly, laura, randy, and aunt sue. we "suprised" grandma and grandad with aunt sue on monday. i could not be there becasue of working. but i at least got to see her while she was here. after playing with the yaounger cousins i went to the plaza lighting cermony. my first one live that i remember. i did not ask if i had ever been, but i don't think that i have. it was a fun time. we (karen, alan, cody, and cecil) were on top of the halls building to watch the lights go on and see the fireworks. never knew that there were fireworks after the lighting.
have not told mom. still trying to.
would still like to find a girlfriend. don;t know when or how but it would be nice.
i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't really matter. i to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn't even matter. linkin park in the end

umk so it's now later in the month. i've got a office visit to the campus minister morrow. she seems really cool. i liked her when she cam to class. karen is coming home this weekend and then going back for two days and then returning for thanksgiving. charlotte is coming home in about five weeks. i can't wait. ^^ i'm so ready for everyone to be back and hang with them even for a little bit. would do so much good. not much has changed in my life. still doing ltq work and school. still have not told mom. i think i might be getting there. not sure. i'm starting to find the words. and then they leave. adn i'm getting more comfortable in not telling her. but i know that if i want to really tell anyone in the church besides jon that i will have to tell mom first. not much else to say.

it's the third of november

so it's the third of nov and what a time it has been since i blogged last. i was going to try and grow that biggest balls of all on sunday after church and tell mom that i am gay. but all i could think was saying "mom i'm gay." and that would have gone so well. lol so i did not tell her but i've got to soon.
on saturday night a lecture person came to my church. she was awsome. her name is amy jill levine i think that's how you spell it and if not i am very sorry that i missed spelled your name. the lecture was jesus and judism and why the connection still matters. it was great i learned and and some fun. she was humorful and very powerful. i just can not prasie her enough. but i also must move on to what happened later that night.
i was on friday night invited to a party on saturday night for seven to eleven. so i dropped by after the lecture. the "adults" of the party started talking and did not stop until some one brought up the time factor. it was about elevn then. so mama asked the girls that she had to take home if they were going to be in trouble if they were late. the one girl she was really worried about said no and in about another hour we asked again. after that we lost track of time again until the girls grandfather came knocking on mama's door. when he showed up the girl went pale and rigid. we all saw and knew that she was in trouble. it was heart breaking. then mama asks the other girl what she knows and to tell her. becasue there's been abuse. and mama wanted to know how and what kinda. the conversation then turned to the other girl and we talked with her until about two. the two after the time change.
so then on monday night with the medation class there was only five of us and the teacher. we had a great time but it would have been better if there were more to hear her story i would lke to some day hear all of it she had it written out but skipped much of it becasue of time. after getting out of the class i went to kats house to hang and have some fun. she was hosting a party. i was requested to bring puppy chow so i did. she loved it. i was happy for that. so half the party left to go and play hide and go seek. adn i guess enjoyed themselves. i have not talked to those who did after it. but then kat and i talked about what was going on in our lives and the like.
had class on tuesday and ltq at night and then home to bed.
on wensday i went to church to help with the crier and such. adn then went into to work for four hours and hung out with kat after wards. and that's all she wrote folks.