this is just a blog, if this had been an actual writing...

lol but really. i thought it was funny. ^^ so been a bit since i last updated my readers imform me. (squeal) i have readers in real life who know me. (squeal) so much fun so excited. big smile. and random online readers. ^^ ok so christmas was good. went over to grandma and grandpa's apt and spent the day over there. after coming home i spent the night with karen and charlotte at where else but ihop. i didn't after christmas immedatly for a couple of reasons. one i was mad. two i could not blog mad or at least not with what i was mad about. and then i was not really mad about it i just did not want to admit that i was that egotistacl. which i should know by now that i am always going to be that way and should try and stop. but it's hard when i am not and then others bulid me up and then smash me back down. i just need an even kneel where my ego is concerned. but it's not going to happen right now. so new's years eve i worked and went to a hotel with some friends. had a good time and worked new's years day. i picked up karen's boy friend alan. we went to the hotel and watched lord of the rings until karen and mara showed up about ten thirty eleven. we contunied watching lord of the rings until the second one finished. did not play the third becasue karen did not want to watch. so she broke out d n angel. and i tried sleeping. it kinda worked. or at least i was ok to work on monday.

side thought. linda. she and jennifer are the only older adults who treat me as equals. it's strange to be an equal to them but it's also right. i feel it's right. and crave to be with them to be treated as equal. and not patronaized. all my life i've been patronaized. and i've patronaized others but not ment to. i would not want to do the patronaizing. and have been called out on the patronaizing and made to feel the hurt that i've caused. i try and treat everyone as equal, if they are able to think and speak for themsevles then i've tried to treat everyone as equal. meaning that if it's a baby that can't tell me what it wants then i try and love and care for the child as i can. i don't know what brought this thought on but i am so close to linda and jennifer. i know that linda knows that she is close to me and i htink that jennifer knows but doesn't know what to do with it. or can do. so much has changed between jennifer and i. i am amazed how far we both have come. i did not think that i could or would be able to talk freely with jennifer. and now she is one of the closest people to me. what a change. with linda i knew it could and would happen it we both let it. and we have. and it's wonderful. i love it. we keep each other sane as she said this evening. even sitting here i'm smiling about thinking about her. we have so much fun together.

died my hair on satruday night. mom and i had the adventure again. we did i once before. in the summer and outside. this time we did it inside casue it was cold here. and did not want to be cold nor have a really wet head while outside. it's not as red as i was hoping for but it is now all the same color.

brother returned from alabama. he returned with two pairs of crocs. i was only expecting one. a green pair. but guess what...he also returned with a pair of bama crocs for me. (wheeeeee) so much fun for me. ^^ so makes me happpy. ^_^

i should finish this for the night and type more morrow. or i know more is to come by thursday. night and loves.