been a while

sorry that's been a while. i've been reading other blogs and forget that i need to blog myself. also been trying to stave off going to the rubber room. i need to do something about that. played all day with kat. it was great. i love being with kat. i miss her when i've spent several days together and then nothing. i love spending the night in her bed. i love waking up next to her. i wish she was mine. but i also don't want to fuck up what we hav now. in that i love her as a friend. i value her friendship more than anything. i love the fact that she gets me out and tries new things. we are finishing up my bodice for fair. it's great. it will be so awesome when it's done. it'll take the dirt and mud so wonderfully. fair starts this weekend. and kat is back at fair. they cut some people who did not work very well and called her. she starts a new job at the mall. so i guess i'll rename my blog kat's blog from an outsider who loves her. lol ^^ so moving on. work sucks. still have not found a girlfriend. i'm listening to my brother watch tennis. it's funny. i'm glad that he like tennis. i like it too. it could be a starting point for us to talk if i knew the players better. maybe i should read up on the players. adn maybe i won't maybe we'll just always be this far. and now i've gotten into the woe as me part. i appologize. things to be thankful for: house to live in w/o rent, mom who loves me even though i'm gay, place of work that puts up with me even though i'm loud and crazy while there, the once yearly bag of circus peanuts, kat, kat's mom for being cool and loving her, kat's dad, my dad who comes to my resuce in the middle of the night when my car won't start, my church for everything they've done and are doing, having this moment in time with you reading.