today the 25th

so i've decided that i'm not going to wear my pride this weekend becasue i don't know who will understand and who won't so it'll be easier for them not to know. yes my tat will show but it also has another meaning. i should type up my mothers of coloinal poem and post it. just becasue it is time. am now reading hilary's book. so far it's interesting. tomorrow is crier day and linda wants me to help her polish some candle sticks. should call the children soon. don't know if i could do it tomorrow but i should at least try to knock out some of them. i should get my tat touched up. need to go done to umkc. i don't like going down there. i'll go if someone esle is with me but i just don't like going down there alone. almost done with the hat. the blanket is getting bigger. and the scarf is not. i need to work on it also but i might try and redo it so it looks better. but it's already a good length. would still like to learn to knit socks. i think susan is kinda offering but i'm not sure. susan is great. john is back from new england. will see how his trip was if he has time to talk to us while we do the crier. still need to write up joans' poem on the paper i bought for it. i keep trying and it looks horrid. maybe i'll see if someone else will write it for me. don't know who. wonder if i could be computer literate enough to get it to print for me? might try that also.
so mommy cable asked if anybody else in the family knows about me. i told her dad did not know. and was called a chicken shit, but then she said maybe in twenty years he'll get to know. that sounds about right. i'm sure brother knows. or i would at least hope he knew what the rainbow means. he might not. but then again he might. and in mommy cable asking that she found out that the family doesn't talk. wish i could talk to meredith. or e-mail her. mommy cable was supposed to e-mail her with my e-mail. don't know if she has but i hope so. so i get to close morrow night. amber said that mama johnson is going to be coming back. have not seen her yet but am still waiting. i should give her a call also. canceled knitting last night. i was so drained that breakout took me an hour and a half. when normaly it only takes about four-five minutes.
still don't know where to go to meet people instead of bars. so i'll sign off with that thought.