sorry ><

sorry that i have not updated in a while. i've been busy and had other things on my mind. i told the church. they thought thtat it was great. david's sermon was great. the first service is always pratice but we don't let them know that because they would not like that. david did not call me on saturday. he was busy doing other things. nor did we we to talk at any point but that's ok becasue i bet he hardly had time to spend with his wife that weekend. i have been invited to eden any time that i want. but on another note. i went up to lamoni yesterday. and came back today. i'm on spring break right now and i will get caught up on my homework. i'm going to talk to john about my life story. in my story is my story about how i came to the decision of minstery. would like to find someone. that would be nice. i'm so looking and no one is looking for me. i am ready. maybe they are there but i don't know it. maybe i'm the oblivise one. how do you know when so one is liking you? what signs are there? another note. officer johnson read my poems. was leary about letting her read them but should have known. it's mama johnson. she knows and understands all. asked the right questions and at the right times and was a great moment i thought. but i could be wrong. would like to have it be a defining moment in our friendship. but i don't know if it happened. know that she has a little more insight to me but it did not change her opinion of me. which i am glad. i did not know that she would just look at what happened and see that it was in the past. most people are like wow no way and get very emotional, or over protective. but i guess that's ok cause i'm very over protective, and jealous. but that comes with the what has gone on in my life. on a brighter note, i don't know where to find one. cause i can't seem to keep a straight thought. so now random things that come to mind. i'm watching mash right now and i love it. i love mash. it's a great show. so now that i have finished my puncho i don't know what to do next. but i am reading Love Ellen by Betty DeGeneres. so far it's good. and i'm also reading an idiots guide. i really enjoy the idiots guides books. they are simple and tell you things in a matter of fact way and once you read them you can go and get other books on the same subject and read them and understand them better than before. will have to get Ellen's book. it sounds good also. miss seeing everyone. i wish that i could see you guys again. and have just one on one conversations with you. each and everyone. there are a few people at school that i talk to but they are just there. they are in the same class adn we talk about the class and that's about it. i need to have a deeper conversation. i'm going to go crazy. i need more than just class and weather and what i do for a job and how my day has gone. i know that they care. i know that you care also. i just need someone. maybe that is the reason no one is looking for me cause i need them. ...