i am tired.

hello. i am tired of being jerked around. i want to be able to be the raving launtic that i can be. but that would not reflect very well on me. because that means that i did not understand what was going on and that i'm an idiot, by not repecting what they are going through and putting my needs ahead of thiers. which i totally understand that makes me insensitve. but i don't become the raving launtic becasue it does reflect badly and does no good what so ever. it just means that you get to blow off steam for a few days and then you are still right back where you started. this is all about my girlfriend breaking up with me. she had issues that need to be dealt with and i understand them i just don't want to accpet that she is breaking up with me. i want to stay with her and help her through them and make them all better for her. but it can't happen that way. she has to find her own happiness within her. won't be going to ren fair this weekend like planned. i'll be going to a church thing instead like planned( the church thing was planned first then the ren fair was planned and i planned to do the ren fair but i don't have grab to wear and therfore i can't go). went to st louis and had a blast. was lost for two hours looking for a school called eden. it helps if you get directions first. thought that i could remember where it was by the roads and the srounding area. thankgoodness for quick trip, and thier employes. found my way to eden and toured the campus and talked to the admissions office. the sectaury is very nice and just moved to the st. louis area about six months ago from pittsburg pa. little chrystal took her test and wont' know for four to six weeks if she passed or not. talk to you later.